


The Truth about Benedict

by MadameTourvel



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aliens, Drabble, Ficlet, i need a shrink, where is the Doctor when we need him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 08:11:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameTourvel/pseuds/MadameTourvel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has a dark secret, but I know the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth about Benedict

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic(let) and English is not my first language so any feedback is welcome. Thanks to my beta readers jeanmacm, gowerstreet and shinysherlock.

Don’t ask me how I know. I just happen to know, but don’t ask. This is essential information.

People in the fandom are unconsciously aware; they make jokes about ovaries exploding and getting pregnant with one look. Deep inside, we know the truth.  
There is no such thing as a man called Benedict Cumberbatch.

The fans are surprised at his level of hyperactivity: “How can he possibly be in Germany dubbing something, he was in Iceland filming this very morning”. Then we see him walk the red carpet, dashing and not affected by his apparent lack of proper rest, or food. He looks perfectly ok and is in a good mood. 

The truth is there is more than one “Benedict”. How many? I don’t know, but with some research I have guessed something between 10 and 25.  
It is, in fact, an alien invasion.  
Have you ever wondered why he is so eager to reproduce? And that he has failed to do so, despite having millions of women pining for him who would be pleased to help him in that department. 

It is a very clever ploy. The Benedicts will eventually conquer Earth, but they are taking their time. The original one started dividing asexually some time ago, creating perfect copies of himself. This process is slow and painful, but now they are approaching the time in which they will be mature enough to make sexual copies of themselves (some time around their 40th birthday) so their level of activity will keep on escalating.

To avoid detection, they have to be very careful. They look strangely attractive but they have small imperfections to make the whole thing believable: a scar in the lip, a spot in the right eye, some marks here and there. Nothing too obvious that will scare females away.  
All of those hairstyles are nothing but a way to attract as many women as possible. No matter your personal preference there is a particular avatar aimed at you.

They are slowly increasing their visibility. Women are noticing, and they report strange symptoms: a warm sensation in the arms, intense blushing, increased sexual response, tingling in their lady parts. The plan is working perfectly, and by the time the Benedicts are ready to mate with us and make their hybrid babies, we will be defenceless. They have the power to take over and there is nothing we can do to stop what has already started.

They have been preparing us for years now, and in the end they will conquer us. I have calculated that by the year 2060, all men on our planet will be Benedicts.

***

When they turn 40, I will be 42.  
And when the time comes, and one of them knocks on my door, I will be ready to open my legs and surrender.

**Author's Note:**

> I have received a couple messages asking me for a sequel involving an actual mating scene. I might write it when i have some free time. Thanks for your time and interest!


End file.
